New Year's Anti-Resolutions

Hey! (Inspired from another blog called: WriteAnything) I created a list of Anti-Resolutions. You can too! Be creative and once you have an idea, just go with it; let it flow. I had a lot of fun with this. Here are my Anti-Resolutions for the New Year:
Hope you like...

*I will not schedule my brother for an annual veterinarian checkup simply to prove that he was secretly raised by a pack of savage wolves.

*I will not sue the Goldfish Company because of my utter disappointment when I discovered that some of their snacks do not smile back.

*I will not track down Taylor Lautner, throw pebbles at his window, and/or kidnap him; he’ll simply have to figure out for himself that I’m the one.

*I will not criticize the twilight series in an attempt to explain how the Harry Potter series is completely amazing. It is by far the perfect epitome of the greatest series ever written in the history of mankind—yes, I’m a fan.

*I will not act as if I can cook like a gourmet chef while entertaining guests. Canned goods, cereal, and grilled cheese never fool anyone; on the contrary, I cannot act.

*I will not tell my little brother that God’s “cookie cutter” broke while creating mankind in an effort to explain the Ayurvedic body-typing system and why we are all different.

*I will not abuse the privilege of the fire alarm in order to gain more time to use the family bathroom in the morning.

*I will not make a fuss if I am stopped at an airport for smuggling Traditional Korean weapons for Martial Arts out of the country—fortunately; I haven’t been detected…yet.

*I will not endeavor to get Santa Claus locked up for breaking and entering my home via the chimney—I’m on the nice list.

*I will refrain from opening a Boutique called Plastic Emporium in NYC selling merchandise made of 100 percent recycled plastics—such as accessories, clothes, Tupperware, food, and even cosmetic surgery—in an effort to prove that it is possible to live, look, and feel like Barbie.

*I will not create a mischievous plan with the ultimate result of savoring the sweet tastes of wine and numerous cheeses with Tim Gunn while talking about fashion in Paris; although, I am a criminal mastermind.

-Rya S.